Quirky Beautiful Photography?

Lately I have been taking pictures of the people I love on my phone, played around with editing and they have turned out beautiful.  I wonder if I have a hidden gift for photography that I have never realized before. I would absolutely love some feedback on whether I should get a real camera and start really learning photography. I would call my photography studio Quirky Beautiful Photography. 

If you could Let me know what you think it would really mean so much to me :)

LOVE BEKAH

A Trip to the Museum

I absolutely Love Museums! I think they are a wonderful place to receive inspiration, perspective, knowledge, and insight about the wonderful world we live in, and about the past, present and future. I had the wonderful opportunity this last Wednesday to be able to go to the UMFA for a lecture by the world famous artist Julie Mehretu!

 

This is one of her incredible pieces! She has this way of making a graphic imprint of a building plan, and they layering on top with organic marks that look familiar but not quite! In her lecture she talked about how she loves that grey area between what something is,  and what something can be.  So many of her pieces are politically based on events such as Sept 11, where we will never be able to wrap our heads around what happened, we think we can for a minute but then a shift happens and we start to realize how much more we have to grasp.  Her point with her work is creating pieces that do just that, where you have to look at the piece and try to grasp what she is portraying and as soon as you do, there is a shift that causes you to see it again in a whole new way. She wanted people to actually spend time looking at the work, deciphering it bringing to their knowledge what forms seem familiar, and looking again at what isn't.  I think her work is absolutely brilliant, and I am still trying to grasp all of the concepts she discussed at her lecture. The second piece of work I included is called Empirical Construction, Istanbul. With this piece she was trying to showcase the layers and richness of the culture of this incredible city.

So definitively check out Julie Mehretu!! In waiting for the lecture I was able to view a couple of exhibits at the UMFA including there full time historical collection, and a student Exhibition about Sustainable Design, which is right up my alley as an Interior Design Major. The full time collection showed how art and culture has changed over time in different parts of the world. It was so fascinating to me how much detail people were able to accomplish with their hands. I particularly loved the European history section which showed portraits painted in such detail they looked real! as though you could walk through them, and the 1700- 1800 furniture they had hand carved out of gorgeous walnut, and mahogany was so perfect.  I'm a sucker for gorgeous wood work. There was also a fantastic Sustainable Design Exhibit which featured furniture made of recycled materials including pillow cases, coffee tables and rugs! The piece that had the biggest effect on me was called Make Your Mark, and it was an interactive chalkboard piece that encourage everyone to write/draw what they personally are going to do to help make the Earth greener and to sustain our resources my mark was WALK What's yours?

 

 Let's make this earth a greener place yeah? I'd love to hear your sustainability ideas :D

With love, BEKAH

(UMFA selfie :)

Journey to Mind and Body Peace

For such a long time I have struggled with my body image.  As a perfectionist I always picked at the things that were wrong with me, and told myself I wasn't good enough. It all started in high school where I overloaded my scheduled, got sick, didn't take time to get better, stressed and worked my self until I was so sick in college that it started effecting my job and school work. I figured that by working hard I would reach the weight goals and the academic and social goals I set. In my mind not reaching those goals meant I was a failure.  I realized that I have developed and anxiety disorder with a great fear of failure, I started having lots of panic attacks, my immune system broke down, and I have also developed IBS from my anxiety. With the IBS came extreme fatigue and bloating, I kept gaining weight, getting more depressed with each pound, but not having the energy to stop it.

I came to a rude awakening that my body desperately needs me to change my ways and take care of it. I've also come to the realization that my mind is in as desperate need of help as my body. I need to slow down, take the time to get better, and learn to live in a way that my body will last a long time. I need to give my body the self respect I deserve, by taking the time to feed it with good foods, and allow it to heal as well as my mind.

I've set five guidelines to allow myself to try and heal. Whether you are feeling sick or not I would highly recommend these guidelines. From my research they are the start of living a physically and mentally healthy lifestyle, which us busy stressed out obese Americans need!

1. Break up with bread and pasta and start a love affair with veggies and other Natural low carbohydrate foods. Our bodies know how to digest them well. Unlike processed foods, and foods high in carbohydrates that our bodies have a harder time digesting. As my body gets better I will reintroduce small amounts of my favorite carbs. The key is in the servings high veggie and protein, and LOW carb. Make sure to drink lots of water. If you have a problem with gluten, a gluten free diet works too, the diet I'm mostly following is the south beach diet. Here is my Pinterest board of food ideas I've found so far. http://www.pinterest.com/magneticromance/south-beach-diet/

2. Have an exercise and a hobby outlet.  For body and mind peace healthy outlets for stress are so important.  The exercise outlet doubles as allowing your body to burn of unneeded fat, and it allows you to let go of stress, and it releases healthy mood boosting chemicals.  The exercise methods I'm going to try include Zumba, Yoga, and Walking/ Running. Above all don't stress about what you look like while your working out, sweat it like nobody's watching.

The second outlet is a hobby that makes your heart happy. By doing something you love and using it to let out your negative emotions, your taking the negative energy and putting it towards something positive.  Whether it's your journal, or art, or sports, or scrap booking, or music, poetry writing, photography do something that you love, make sure you can vent with this outlet as well to let the negative out in a constructive way. Also, do something where you are being productive and where you can make goals and you can say to yourself, I made that, or I achieved that.  By doing so you will build confidence in your own strengths and abilities. Focusing on your strengths allows you over time to conquer your weaknesses and give them less power over you. I know music and blogging so far have been such a great help to allowing me to vent, but feel that I'm doing something worth while.

3. Good hygiene. It's simple good grooming shows that you take care of yourself, and that you have pride in who you are as a person. So pamper yourself, and show yourself that you accept you, and that you may not be at the weight goal you want, or you don't like your nose, but you still respect yourself enough to treat yourself well. This will be one of the biggest self esteem boosters you can do.  Detox baths, massages, acupuncture, facials, nail care whatever it is you want to do to show your body you love it do it! This can also be a great way to let out stress and relax.  The point is to take time to take care of yourself. And to get the rest and sleep that your body needs.

4. Set achievable goals, and reward yourself.  For example lets say your goal is to not each bread for a week, and the reward is a new cute shirt. You don't eat bread, and you get a cute shirt that looks good on you. Rewarding yourself will build your self esteem and show you that your not making these changes for nothing. For bigger goals set equally bigger rewards. The point for this guideline is to celebrate the small changes your making, and to show that you have pride in your achievements.

5. Most importantly believe in yourself, tell yourself that you believe in you. Go somewhere where you can feel peace, and where there are not negative influences in your ear. Meditate and reflect on how far you have come and where you want to go.  If you are religious connect more to your beliefs, build your self identity. Get closer to the deity/ higher power you feel is out there, and make peace with it. Explore, find in yourself the person you want to be, and would be proud to be. Learn to love yourself, because you are going to be with you for a long time. This is the most important guideline as it allows you to find inner peace. I know that for me, connecting to Jesus Christ my savior has/will help me through any change or any storm I feel is inside me as long as I learn to trust him and myself.  Learn to have faith and trust in yourself, and in your ability to do great and marvelous things. 

Maura from http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/ has so many diet, and healing tips as well, so If your looking for more ideas she and her journey to mind and body peace is amazing! I know it has inspired me. I will keep this blog up and let you know what I find has worked for me. 

I hope this helps you in your search for body/mind peace I know it will help me. I love you all!! And I know finding peace in this crazy life is difficult but it will be so worth it.

Mucho Love, Bekah

Good, Better, Best- My New Years Resolutions

On New Years Eve I did what I always usually do I partied til midnight,  and  then wrote a bullet point list of strict goals I would adhere to for the new year.  Including a strict diet, working out, being perfect in my church duties, and keeping a strict productive schedule. Less then 11 hours later I broke one of my resolutions by eating bread that was not on the South Beach Diet menu............ CRUSHED! This happens to me every year I swiftly fail my goals, then I give up on trying to keep anything.

Then I realized, there is a way for me to constantly improve doing my best to achieve my goals, without beating myself up about messing up. It's what I will call the Good, Better, Best Replacement Method! It's based on slowly replacing not so good habits, with better habits, eventually leading to having the best most awesome habits ever (key word being eventually). It's a swaportunity, yes I'm going to add the cheezy yoplait commercial, but it's so true!!!!! and to the point.

Many of my fellow perfections will be all what, how does this work.  Let's just say by swapping at least one habit/ decision a day for a better one your constantly improving every day.  Some times we take a step back, but that makes for an improvement cha cha :) The goal is to always move forward, and to focus on what is important to you! I will achieve my goals through making the choices that lead to them as much as I can, and being ok with mistakes.

Some Examples 

*Goal 1: Spend less time on facebook, and more time blogging, or reading. 

So next time I catch myself with a few spare minutes I either.....

GOOD= Facebook , BETTER= Come up with a blog post, BEST= Pick up a thought provoking book, or get ahead on homework.

I'm not always going to pick the best, or better choices, but as long as I'm choosing them more than the good choice, I will achieve my goal.  

The lowest starts at good because I support my self by knowing that most every choice I make is good, because I chose it and I believe in myself!!! That way I can build my self esteem by following through and owning up to my decisions good or bad. I will take control of my future by knowing that I control my choices. 

*Goal 2: I will eat under 80g of carbohydrates a day (required by my doctor).

I see myself getting hungry so I choose to eat.

GOOD= A sandwich (I'm poor), BETTER= tomato soup, BEST= A salad

Not saying a salad is healthier than soup, you need moderation in all things. But you do get my point. 

Here are some awesome conference talks that apply this method to improving your spiritual goals, and putting what is of real value first in our crazy jam packed days.

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/11/good-better-best By Dallin H. Oaks 2007

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/of-things-that-matter-most?lang=eng By Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Hope this helps everyone see a perspective of how they can achieve their New Years Resolutions :) I know it's how I'm going to achieve mine, at least the one's that really matter to me. 

With Love, Bekah

Christmas Tender Mercy

It's often difficult to get in the spirit of the Christmas Season, especially with all the stress from the commercialism of the season.  A couple weeks ago I was feeling really frustrated one day, I had been struggling with my health, I was no where near the life goals I thought I would be at by this point, and I was just depressed and burnt out. To try and blow off some steam I decided to go through my old purses, and give away what I didn't need.  To my complete shock I opened my purse to find an earring that had been lost for over a year.

This Earring had a very precious worth to me.  It was part of the last Christmas Gift I would receive from my Grandma Jeanie as she would pass away five months later.  This earring held all the memories, and precious spirit from the last beautiful Christmas I had with her. I remember when she was able to come over to our house through driving her mechanical chair. It took her about half an hour to get from her care center to our house.  I would always walk with her, her giving me advice about life, and telling me about her youth.  One Christmas Evening I remember it was freezing and snowflakes were slowly falling down on us as we walked, we didn't talk much, but I remember feeling so blissfully happy because she had been able to come home, instead of having to spend Christmas in her care center alone. We just held hands taking in the beauty and true spirit of Christmas and Love. 

I realized I had lost one of the earrings shortly after she passed away, I was absolutely devastated. It felt as though I had lost the one of the few parts of her I had with me on this earth, as well as losing her through her passing. Finding this earring finally helped heal that.  It was such a tender mercy to me that her spirit was still alive, and that she was out there somehow still watching out for me. And I knew that I would see her some day again soon, just as I found that precious earring, even though it might take some time.  

That Earring was my Christmas Miracle and even though to many who see it would value it as no worth, to me it is priceless, just as is the Birth of the Savior Jesus Christ who's atonement and sacrifice made it so we can conquer death.  We will be able to see our loved one's again I have a firm testimony of Eternal Families, and of the love that flows from the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is truly the miracle the world needs to realize. 

I hope we will keep the meaning of Christmas in our hearts throughout this new year.

With Love, Bekah 

Get Out Of Your Own Way

I'm absolutely obsessed with this song by Rachel Platten called "Nothing Ever Happens." The lyrics that impact me the most are in the chorus it says, "Nothing ever happens if you stay in your room. Nothing ever happens if you leave the party too soon. Never be a winner if you're not in the game.  And nothing ever happens if you always play it safe.  Make a little space and get out of your own way." She is just so bubbly and positive check out the music video here.

This song started making me realize that I'm in my own way of being happy, and finding what makes me happy.  I think that so many of us do that, we are our own worst critics.  Often we become obsessed with regret and things we can't leave in the past.  Often we are so comfortable where we are that we think that it's just going to go downhill from there.  I think we also are so scared of taking risks, or of change, that we choose to not progress.

So today I'm just going to list everything I'm keeping in my way, which many are really personal, but I don't think anyone follows this blog anyway so here goes at least maybe helping me get out of my own way. But hopefully helping you!

1. I have an intense fear of failure. I feel that if I back out early I don't have to worry about failing, and I can dwell on thought that if I had continued I would have been awesome.  I did this with not being on drill team my senior year, when I was on it my sophomore and junior year. Because I knew so many sophomores were so much better than me. Another Is in committing to a major, I have started over four majors without committing, because I don't know that in the end I won't suck at it and will have a hard time getting a job. I didn't commit to doing forensics because I was so scared of failing my math classes and loosing my scholarship. With Performing Arts I was so scared of taking so much time and energy into school, and not being able to go anywhere in the business after school, so many people do not have success having a career in that industry. With Visual Communications i'm worried that my view of beauty and art won't translate right to others.

2. I fear not being prepared for what I need to be in the future. I spend so much time trying to guess ahead and be over prepared, putting a guard around myself to keep me from getting hurt, being the least risky as possible, which does keep me safe.  But it keeps me from really experiencing what is beautiful about life sometimes.

3. I often half do things, or leave them til last minute because then I have an excuse of why it wasn't as perfect as what I wanted it to be in my head.  In my head people think wow this is amazing for last minute. That makes me happy.  I'm so scared of putting my all into something and having it not reach the expectations I want it too. I guess the answer might be lowering my expectations but I refuse to do that because I want to imagine that for once I can create something up to the level of my imagination and intelligence.  That for once I was able to do right by me, and what I think is worthy of my talents. So far I haven't accomplished anything to my full potential, and I'm scared to.  It's similar to TANGLED where Rapunzel is so close to accomplishing her dream that she is scared that it won't be everything she hoped it would be. Luckily for her it was more, and she was able to find a new and better dream. I'm still working on that.

4. I compare myself to others way too much.  Maybe it's a girl thing but it's not healthy. There is this one girl I know that to me is absolutely perfect, she's graceful, her wedding was like perfect to every detail, she's skinny, has a great job, great taste, cooks fabulously is talented. I'm so jealous of her.  To me I think how does she accomplish all of that! I don't understand at all. Does she wake up at five am to do her hair, and have every part of her day planned perfectly.  I don't know but she accomplishes it with a breeze. It drives me crazy because I feel that she's the kind person I want to be, but no matter what I do I'm never going to be as good or graceful or beautiful or talented as she is.  That bothers me, makes me feel that life's not fair, and I'm never going to reach where I want to be. Like I said it's unhealthy and totally is me getting in my own way.

5. I regret so much. I have an obsession with trying to fix things, especially me or problems around me, and when I can't I breakdown. Then those moments become part of the past, as I learn in life I realize what I could have done better to fix it, then I spend so much time going back and picturing fixing it, trying to make it right and better.  Then I get angry with myself for not just doing everything right in the first place and I get depressed and have even greater anxiety about having everything right in the future. I really need to just learn to let things go and move forward, but it's so hard for me.  Especially right now where I have no Idea where I need to go for the future, in a way its like I have nothing to look forward to, and I am so worried about setting goals I can achieve to make something of which to look forward to without screwing it up.

So much of what's in my way comes down to my depression, anxiety and fear of failure and letting people around me down.  Fortunately I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband that helps me wake up everyday and helps me to see the bright side of life.  He is such a positive, loving person, who has amazing vision and dreams and wants me to achieve mine. I just have to figure out what that is.
In order to do that.....

I'M GOING TO GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY

are you?

With LOVE, Bekah

All the Wrong Places

WOW i'm almost a year behind.......again this blog is about my personal musings.  Also since I have a phone with a camera it will start including photos I have taken so mostly all original.

I have been thinking so much about where people meet their soul mate.  I see and hear so many complaints about how dating sucks, and they are never going to meet the right person. I think I've figured out what their mistake is THEY ARE LOOKING IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES.

For example I have a friend that gets in so many relationships with guys that are alcoholics, treat her badly, use her and in the end they have nothing in common other than the fact that she was lonely, and he had nothing to offer.  Where does she pick up these guys, a bar, or clubbing.  HUGE MISTAKE not that i'm saying you can't meet your soul mate at a bar. But If your looking for someone that you can take home to your parents.....bars are not the best places. People there are often just looking for a night of fun, not long term commitment.  My advice to all my lovely friends is to go to places that make your soul happy and look for love their.

In fact don't look, so many people waste time looking, that they do not see exactly what is in front of them. I have so many friends that are fantastic girls, but guys look them over because they have some type of physical traits they are looking for. I think that's awful because true love is not skin deep, it never will be. To guys and girls THE IMAGE IN YOUR HEAD OF WHAT SOMETHING IS SUPPOSED TO BE WILL ALWAYS MESS YOU UP. It's always wrong, and it keeps you from keeping your mind open to all the possibilities around you. It's sad that so many learn that the hard way. Everyone knows the story of the girl next door, the girl overlooked until the guy finally got his act together.  They then ask where have you been.  Girl always says, in your back yard, you just didn't see me.  Often that's because of physical appearance, or false expectations.  So to men and women, your soul mate is often that best friend of yours that you friend zoned.

So I watch SECRET PRINCES on TLC, I find it humorous because they are looking for a soul mate, and in all the wrong places. Most of the time they are in a bar, club, rodeo looking for someone to take back to Europe.  One of the guys was talking about wanting the perfect tall blonde top model looking girl, that still will love him based on his personality and overall charms.  I'm thinking in my head those usually are two separate girls.  One who would have to be unhealthy enough to look like Barbie, which some girls do naturally, which usually does not work out for them.  Then their is the girl that all the guys look over, who isn't in the trashy facilities they are looking who would love them for who they are. It is so humorous to just watch those men completely contradict themselves for an hour each week.

So where do I think people should meet?  It depends on what you like. If your a sports fanatic, play sports, go to sports events especially co ed neighborhood sports. Volunteer for little league, by spending time doing what you love you will build yourself up and probably will end up finding someone along the way.  If your intellectual libraries are the best place, or a book store. If it's a place you love, why not be with someone that loves that place as well.  Be brave make connections.  Even if it starts as a friendship, that at least means it's not a hookup. For musicians, go to concerts, collaborate projects with those you meet that are musicians, make excuses to spend time together. Pretty much find what you love and makes your soul happy and do it!

Not saying that opposites are not going to attract, but often they don't stick together.  The majority of couples that last are good friends, and have common interests and activities that they do together.  It's good to have different personality traits and points of views, but a couple of common interests work wonder.  Make a list of what you would like in a spouse, things you would like to do together then start doing those things with potentials.  Use your common interests in bonding with dates, not only will you have so much fun but you will start to see what works, and what doesn't.

So in conclusion three things
1. Be the type of person that you would want to end up with.
2. Throw yourself into what you love, and you will find love.
3. Go to the right places,and know that something worth having takes time and effort.

I guess a fourth thing have fun, and learn about yourself.  If you can't find what makes you happy alone, being in a relationship isn't going to fix that.  It will cause issues in later years. So find you and you will find them on the way. Often there that friend that helped you the whole time. Often timing is everything.

With Love, Bekah